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it rained today inside my head... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
wolvesatmydoor

[ website | My Website ]
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[ archive | journal archive ]

i cant believe i made it this far [Sep. 13th, 2008|06:11 pm]
wolvesatmydoor
[Current Mood |excitedexcited]
[Current Music |my blood valentine - cupid come]

matt comes home in less than a month. :D
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Writer's Block: It's Too Late to Apologize [May. 7th, 2008|08:54 pm]
wolvesatmydoor
[Tags|]

Has anyone ever done something so horrible to you that "I'm sorry" couldn't fix it?
my sophmore year i had a terrible....i mean terrible break up. which led to me losing a LOT of my friends. including my ex best friend who started dating my ex....long miserable story. if any of them apologized now they would have to make it worth my while. i went through so much from that. a lot of which i didnt deserve.
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(no subject) [May. 7th, 2008|08:26 pm]
wolvesatmydoor
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |patriot - memories of oi!]

for one day out of the past few depressing days, weeks...months. i am more than half way content. downloading lots of music, singing along and just being grateful for what i have. i am 9 and a half days closer to being outside of that wretched school. 9 and a half days closer to relaxation, to my goals, my happiness. my favorite movie came on today also :) im just in a good mood. i hope it doesn't end. it usually does with smart alecky comments people say. or the inconsiderate things my extended family does. life gets better though, with all of the trials you go through. during it all i'll just listen to music, and trust in God.
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tender love [Apr. 24th, 2008|12:25 am]
wolvesatmydoor
[Current Mood |coldcold and sad but happy]
[Current Music |tender love]

i'm tired but want to stay up, i'm happy but i'm sad, i'm lonely but accompanied.
he said one day we'd marry...idk if i can do deployment for the rest of his capable life.
im going to steal him away and force him to make my babies.

god i miss him.
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i really miss him. [Apr. 22nd, 2008|07:37 pm]
wolvesatmydoor
[Current Mood |aggravatedaggravated]
[Current Music |desmond dekker]

i miss his laugh, his corny little snorts. his geekyness. how he gets really excited over a tom clancy game or an article about a gadget. how he yells at me when i doubt myself. how he blows me kisses and calls me beautiful. how we spend hours on the phone debating about who loves each other more. it's hard to be inlove with a guy who is across the world doing exactly what he loves and you can't stop him. it's hard to love a marine, who are known for unfaithfulness. but i do. i do. i hid our relationship before. but i feel like this is my heart, and no one can take it away.  i really miss him. i wish it was october, so he could come home, and i could just touch him. kiss him. hold him. i miss my marine.
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overwhelmed. [Apr. 16th, 2008|11:42 pm]
wolvesatmydoor
[Current Mood |lethargiclethargic]

i am overwhelmed with fear.
i am overwhelmed with sorrow.
i am overwhelmed with pain.
i am overwhelmed with anguish.
i am overwhelmed with uncertainty.
i am overwhelmed with insecurities.
i am overwhelmed.
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Writer's Block: Back in Time [Apr. 16th, 2008|08:44 am]
wolvesatmydoor
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood |awake]
[Current Music |redskins]

If you could travel in time, which era would you visit and why?
the 60s! i would love to be around when the skinhead movement first started, and when 1st wave ska was at it's peak. it would have been really nice to enjoy it all. 
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(no subject) [Apr. 16th, 2008|08:42 am]
wolvesatmydoor
[Current Location |room]
[Current Mood |awake]
[Current Music |millie small]

"chill babeh. you take everything so personally and you blow things out of proportion. and it overrides all your good qualities, it's the reason you lost a lot of your new friends."

myspace's truth box. another item on the internet meant to hurt people. thanks tom. idk, why, but this hurt me a little. i feel really adolescent and immature for actually taking this personally...even a little. but i took things personally because i don't tolerate racism. at all. no jokes, no little one liners, nothing. and that's what is constantly said around here. i just got pulled out of my safe haven in new jersey to the south, 30 mins from where the klan assembled in the south the most about 40 years ago. (stone mountain, ga) i live in dacula, a town that isn't even known by the natives of  georgia. but i digress...i don't tolerate racism, and i called people out on it and get accused of blowing things out of proportion...is it wrong that i don't tolerate words that used to kill many people of all races and creeds? is it wrong that i don't think bigotry is a laughing matter? i guess i'm too mature for my age or something, because a lot of kids in my generation find racism and prejudice funny. i unfortunately used to but i corrected myself. my parents tell me that i'm on a different level than most teens, and i guess that's true. they crack a joke and smile but i think about the people they are insulting and what they went through. i think about how i wish to crush classes in society when it comes to race, age, gender, lifestyles and beliefs. i wish to make our constitution truthful, word for word.
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Writer's Block: Dream Job [Apr. 14th, 2008|05:08 pm]
wolvesatmydoor
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |room]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |bad manners]

What's keeping you from your dream job?
i am not completely sure about what i want to do with my life. i am into a billion things and i'm not sure i could succeed in any of them. so i guess, insecurity and uncertainty is what is holding me back from my dream job.
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